22 February 2017

TMB to relaunch Tripe TV

A new TV channel for tripe lovers across the nation will begin broadcasting in autumn 2017, Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle announced today.

The plans for the channel include an extensive range of cookery programmes, as well as a broad focus on what Sir Norman described as "cross-over reality TV shows".

The key points of the new channel - which will be called Tripe TV - are:
  • A "prominent" slot on the Electronic Programme Guide (the exact slot will be subject to discussions with providers such a Freeview, Sky and Virgin, but it is expected to be located between The Cupcake Channel and Naughty Grannies)
  • Broadcast from 7pm to midnight every evening
  • Integrated hour-long news programme at 9pm, edited and presented from Preston by celebrity newscasters Mike and Bernice Williams.
Spatchcock TV re-runs will be a staple of Tripe TV
Tripe TV will also give extensive coverage to reality TV and science programmes. Highlights of the schedule are likely to include F*** Me It’s Graham Rumsey hosted by the foul mouthed celebrity chef, I’m Famous Put A Wasp In My Mouth and The Only Way Is No Sex, a reality TV programme set in a monastery.

Sir Norman said: “We believe there are just not enough cookery programmes on TV. The BBC is doing a great job but we believe there is a market for people who want to watch cookery programmes 24 hours a day 7 days a week."

The channel will also feature re-runs of classic Spatchcock TV shows such as Cooking Hell and Pyragas ir CHiPs.

Tripe TV was originally launched in autumn 2013 on a trial basis via cable to 100 households in Accrington, Lancashire, but viewing figures were disappointing, as it was only rarely watched by more than 5% of those able to receive it.  Specially-commissioned flagship shows such as Can Cook Can't Cook and The Great British Tripe-Off failed to strike a chord with audiences, while afternoon scheduling of movies by director Alfred Spatchcock such as Moss Side Story and Shallow Gravy attracted fewer viewers than when they had originally been shown in the cinema. The channel was closed in early 2014.

"The public's appetite for tripe on TV seems to show no bounds," Sir Norman said, adding "This time, we think we've got the mix just right". 

2 February 2017

TMB revises 2017 sales forecasts

The Tripe Marketing Board has sharply upgraded its forecast for UK tripe sales, predicting that tripe  output will expand as fast this year as it did last year and that sales will be much more buoyant than it predicted before the EU referendum in 2016.

Speaking to an audience of meat trade experts in Preston earlier today, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said the tripe industry was at a turning point and that 2017 could see the first increase in tripe sales since 1954.

"It's too early to tell, but the indicators are all there," Sir Norman said, adding that retailers had reported the smallest ever decline in quarterly sales in the autumn.  "This means that fewer people than ever before are turning away from tripe and it could well mean that sales will actually increase at some point this year," he said.

26 January 2017

TMB forms strategic alliance with TripeCorp™

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle will tomorrow sign an agreement with TripeCorp™ (formerly US Tripe) that could pave the way for British tripe to find its way into kitchens and feeding bowls all across America.

US Tripe - now known as TripeCorp™
The meeting between Sir Norman and TripeCorp™ President Kelvin Trampett has already been pitched as a new chapter in the Anglo-American special relationship.  It will see the two leaders of the tripe world discussing a potential bilateral deal that would involve cutting tariffs and easing the movement of tripe between the two countries.   For Sir Norman, the promised revival of the special relationship accords perfectly with his vision for "Global Tripe" that can forge new alliances and strengthen old ones as Britain takes full advantage of new markets as it leaves the European Union.

As he prepared for the meeting at his Washington hotel suite earlier today, Sir Norman told a reporter from local radio channel GNHV-21 that he had always had a special affection for the Americans. "During the war, my mother used to regularly entertain US soldiers from a nearby military base - I put my love of peanut butter down to that!" he said.

The agreement will see Lancashire tripe being exported in what Sir Norman said would be "industrial quantities", while the UK will see US tripe on its tables for the first time. "I am sure that British consumers will soon get a taste for tripe from cows that have a higher hormone content than we might be used to - just as they've got used to the peculiar taste of chocolate since the Americans bought up all our UK producers," he said.

Sir Norman said he was excited at the prospect of what he called "A New Deal for Tripe".  "It's clear from the result of last year's presidential election that the USA has a huge appetite for tripe, and we plan to help meet that demand," he said.

24 January 2017

Goodbye, Emily!

The Tripe Marketing Board today said a fond farewell to one of its most popular interns, Communications Officer Emily French.

Emily French
Emily (right), who joined the TMB in 2012, was responsible for the board's hugely successful social media campaigns and oversaw the TMB's debut on Twitter as @TripeUK.  Just two years after she took the task on, @TripeUK had garnered over 200 'followers', making it the ninth most popular meat-based marketing board on Twitter.

Following a short holiday in Dhaka, India, Emily returned to the fray and within weeks @TripeUK's followers had shot up to 7,000.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle paid tribute to Emily's work at her leaving party in Preston earlier today. "When she joined us, many people questioned whether she would fit in but, as I knew her father via my golf club, I was in no doubt as to her credentials," he said.

Emily graduated in Business, Media & TV Studies from the University of Wigan in Lancashire in 2011. "As a vegetarian I hadn't really encountered tripe before, but I soon learned it's just a product like anything else," she said in her farewell speech.

Sir Norman said the board would be sad to see Emily leave, but would not stand in the way of her obvious talents. "If we had the budget, we'd keep her on," he said, adding that there was no 'glass ceiling' in the world of tripe.

Emily takes over her new role as chief marketing manager with Apex Conservatories North West next week. "It will be a big change from tripe, but I've learned a lot here," she said.  "After all, if you can persuade people to buy the stomach of a cow, you can practically sell them anything - even conservatories!"




13 January 2017

Chairman extends promotional tour

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has agreed to extend his fact-finding and promotional mission to the Caribbean by a further three days, following an invitation from the president of the Dominican Republic's meat processing federation to spend some time on the island.

Speaking last night, Sir Norman said he was disappointed that a number of his scheduled talks in Lancashire would have to be postponed, but he was looking forward to putting the case for British tripe during his extended tour, adding "We must all make sacrifices to conquer new markets.  After all, tripe doesn't sell itself!"

11 January 2017

TMB chairman slams "irresponsible" Welsh MP

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle today branded Welsh MP Geraint Davies as  "irresponsible" for suggesting that British people faced being force-fed tripe if Article 50 is signed  without a proper debate on what the terms of Britain's exit from the European Union should be.

Sir Norman, who interrupted a grueling, three-week fact-finding trip to the Caribbean to speak to reporters, said he was disappointed by Mr Davies' comments, which were made in a video posted on YouTube.



 "I think potential consumers should understand that we're not in the business of force-feeding people tripe," Sir Norman said, adding "Even if we wanted to - and I would like to stress that we currently have no plans in that direction - there is plenty of UK legislation which prevents us from doing so."

Sir Norman said he hoped Mr Davies' comments would not undermine the valuable work he himself had been doing to promote tripe exports during his trip to the West Indies and nearby islands. "Perhaps Mr Davies would like to join me on my next fact-finding visit, and he can see for himself the difficulties we are up against," he said.

 

29 December 2016

10 Recipes for Your New Year Hangover


Flaczki
Tripe retailers across the country are gearing up for one of their busiest New Year periods ever!  

As 2016 - universally regarded as one of the most depressing years since 1954 - draws to a close, many folk will spend New Year's Eve drowning their sorrows by consuming vats of cheap wine or barrels of beer before beating their spouse and retiring to their beds in a drunken slumber.  The next day, their husbands will be logging on and Googling for 'traditional hangover cures' - and this is where tripe comes in.

The Tripe Marketing Board has sourced 10 of the world's best hangover cures, all of which are guaranteed* to induce sobriety fast.

So, whether you're in Preston, Rome, Wakefield or Casablanca - pick up a bit of tripe tomorrow, and be prepared!

10 GUARANTEED* Hangover Cures
  1. Pancita - Mexican tripe and pigs feet stew 
  2. Menudo - Mexican tripe stew 
  3. Dobrada - Portugese tripe stew
  4. Pho -  Special beef noodle soup
  5. Trippa alla Romana - Italian style tripe
  6. Trippa alla Parmigiana alla Morocco - Moroccan style tripe (with Mozzarella cheese)
  7. African style tripe and onions  
  8. Arroz caldo de jeneva (includes tripe)
  9. Tripe alla Gordon Ramsay
  10. Flaczki - Polish tripe soup   
* Guarantee not valid in Poland, Italy, Africa, Portugal, Mexico, Indonesia or Lancashire 

26 December 2016

More tripe on TV this Christmas than ever before!

UK TV viewers are being treated to more tripe over the Christmas season than at any time since records began, according to figures released by the Tripe Marketing Board's media monitoring unit.

'Peak tripe' was reached on Christmas Day evening, when Channel 4's Travel Man show featured Hollywood actor Rebel Wilson and host Richard Ayoade for a fun-packed whizz round Florence in a mini-break mixing art, action, gelato, a drive in a classic Alfa Romeo, and some tripe, while BBC 2's Victorian Bakers revealed how tripe was a principal ingredient in Victorian mince pies.

Victorian Bakers - BBC 2, 25 December 2016
TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said he was delighted that tripe had featured so prominently in TV schedules over Christmas, describing it as "A dream come true!"

Speaking from the Caribbean island of Martinique, where he is engaged in top-level talks to promote tripe, Sir Norman said: "Getting our product placed so effectively at Christmas caps off the year nicely.  We'll be working hard to ensure this continues into 2017."

The TMB's Head of Media Monitoring Emily French said Christmas was always a busy time for the unit. "You'd be surprised how often the word 'tripe' and 'TV' crop up together over the Christmas period.  Mentions of tripe in the social media tend to peak whenever the Michael Mcintyre show is aired - so much so that we've had to reassure our Twitter followers that we did not sponsor this year's Christmas special".


22 December 2016

Enjoy tripe responsibly this Christmas season

As Christmas approaches, the Tripe Marketing Board has appealed to tripe consumers across the country to act maturely over the holiday season.

Industry analysts suggest that more tripe will be consumed this Christmas than at any time since 1974 and TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said purchasers should act in a responsible and dignified manner.



"We know this has been a difficult year for many people and that some will have been drawn to try tripe in an attempt to economise.  Just because it's cheap, people shouldn't go mad," Sir Norman said.

Sir Norman was speaking prior to commencing a three week fact-finding tour of the West Indies.  He pointed out that tripe is now available from more and more retailers, adding "Whether you live in Birkenhead or Blackpool, our advice is to enjoy tripe responsibly."

The TMB's offices are closed over the Christmas period, but a dedicated 24 hour Tripe Hotline will be set up to deal with customer queries.  The board's Twitter feed, @TripeUK, will be delivered by a combination of automated tweets and an outsourcing agency in Wrexham.



-

19 December 2016

Rhubarb alliance could bring a "new dawn for tripe"

Talks between the Tripe Marketing Board and the Yorkshire Rhubarb Council could be an important stepping-stone to a tripe renaissance, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle told an audience of food industry executives at the weekend.

Tirimasu - "ahead of the curve"
Although he stressed that discussions were at an early stage, he said he was excited at the prospect of  working with the YRC to develop new product lines.  He pointed to the recent launch of a banana and bacon trifle by food retailer Waitrose as the direction of travel for food in the future. "Whether the consumer likes it or not, they will have to get used to unusual combinations such as raspberries and liver or even kidney and pomegranate as we chart new territory in the quest to sate the jaded palates of the food-buying public," Sir Norman said.

"This could be a new dawn for tripe.  We were actually ahead of the curve with our Tirimasu product earlier this year, but the whole 'fruit and meat combination' concept represents the perfect opportunity to promote tripe," he added.

16 December 2016

"Tripe on the Moon" by end of decade, pledges TMB chairman

The Tripe Marketing Board has pledged to use all of its available resources towards an historic attempt to land a piece of tripe on the Moon by 2020.

The move follows the announcement that a pie launched yesterday had achieved space orbit and had safely returned to earth earlier today.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said that the pie industry had "thrown down the gauntlet" and that tripe would respond in kind.  Speaking at the annual Christmas lunch of the Chorley & District Women's Circle, Sir Norman talked of the "eternal battle in Wigan between tripe and pies" and said it was not a war tripe was prepared to lose.

An extract from Sir Norman's speech is available here, and details will be released shortly of a Crowdfunder campaign to raise the resources for what Sir Norman called "the most ambitious plans yet released" for tripe to reach the Moon. The move follows a TMB Christmas advertising campaign to persuade the people of Wigan to drop their pies and return to the tripe which is their town's historic legacy.



8 December 2016

TMB reassures Tripe Club Members

The Tripe Marketing Board has moved to reassure members of Tripe Club that the bulk of their personal details are safe after a security breach at the board's Preston HQ earlier today.

Have you seen this badge?
In a statement issued shortly before his resignation, TMB Director of Corporate Governance Mr Harry Golightly confirmed that, shortly before 3pm, a person or persons unknown had entered the Tripe Club office whilst it was unoccupied and had removed a number of membership records.

"We do not believe this presents a real or present danger to Tripe Club members," Mr Golightly said, but he added that all members should be alert for possible attacks from vegan militants.

At a press conference called in response to media interest in the story, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle admitted that a number of Tripe Club membership badges had also been stolen. "We know that there are currently only 56 confirmed members of Tripe Club, so if anyone spots someone wearing a badge, please let us know, as it's highly likely they are connected to this crime," he said.  


7 December 2016

"Tripe must not be complacent" says TMB chairman

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle today warned industry executives that it would be a mistake to take the future of the UK tripe industry for granted.

Sir Norman Wrassle
Speaking at a meeting of the British Confederation of Offal Processors in Wakefield, Sir Norman said that the TMB had been working ceaselessly since 2012 to arrest the continued decline in tripe sales and that, while there were signs that the pace of decline had slowed to a record low, it would be wrong for the industry to be complacent.

"Back in 2012, I set out my Five Year Plan for Tripe.  We had high hopes of making 2013, 2014 and then 2015 the Year of Tripe but, sadly, it was not to be," Sir Norman said.  Nevertheless, he felt there was plenty for the industry to be proud of, and he pointed to the dozens of impartial observers who thought that 2016 was already the best for tripe even before the year was out.

"I feel it in my fingers - I feel it in my bones," he said, adding "This year has been our finest since we launched our plan to put tripe back on the butcher's slabs of Britain".

In response to audience questions, Sir Norman hinted that it might be time for a tripe re-brand.  "I have recently been wondering whether it might not be time to 'hang up my apron' and to hand the mantle on to the next generation," he said.  His forthcoming fact-finding tour to the Caribbean offered the perfect opportunity for some soul-searching, and he would be making an announcement on his return, he said. 


1 December 2016

Tripe Promotional Itinerary Confirmed

Sir Norman Wrassle - "top-level talks"
Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has unveiled his ambitious plans to market British tripe across the globe.

Speaking at a meeting of the North West Lancashire Ladies' Circle this afternoon, Sir Norman outlined a punishing itinerary of promotional visits from December 2016 to February 2017 that will take in visits to Martinique, Dominica, Montserrat and the British Virgin Islands, before concluding with top-level talks in Kingston, Jamaica.

"I hope this gives the lie to those who claim that the British tripe industry is not doing its bit to put the case for our product," he said.

In response to questions from the audience, Sir Norman confirmed that he would also seek to promote the TMB's extensive range of books during his tour. "We will follow the lead of Boris Johnson in this regard" he said, adding "After all - a tripe book is for Christmas, not for life!"

17 November 2016

2017 will be "big for tripe" says TMB chairman

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has promised a bumper year for tripe as he unveiled the TMB's ambitious plans for the next twelve months whilst speaking at a meeting of the Westhaughton Ladies' Circle, earlier today.

Sir Norman: "Ambitious plans"
Sir Norman will be spending the next two months promoting tripe on a whistle-stop tour of the Caribbean, seeking out new markets for British tripe in readiness of the post-Brexit era.

Meanwhile, TMB Books (the board's publishing arm) is planning a follow-up to Forgotten Lancashire and Part of Cheshire and the Wirral, the 2012 publication which single-handedly revived the tripe industry in Lancashire.  Sir Norman could not confirm the title of the proposed follow-up, but said it "might" cover another county that "wasn't a million miles from Lancashire, Cheshire or the Wirral."

At the same time, Sir Norman announced that the TMB's official historian Dr Derek Ripley had been commissioned to write a history of the Tripe Marketing Board, provisionally entitled A History of the Tripe Marketing Board.  "We'll take advice on that, though," Sir Norman said. "Someone has suggested a more racy title - The Complete and Utter Truth About Tripe," he said.

12 November 2016

TMB will boycott Daily Mail advertising

The Tripe Marketing Board has confirmed it will not be advertising any of its products in the Daily Mail, following a public campaign calling on big companies to drop adverts from newspapers accused of promoting “hatred, discrimination and demonisation”.

Christmas campaign - simple and to the point
TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle announced the ban at the launch of the tripe industry's Christmas 2016 promotional campaign, earlier today.

In response to questions, Sir Norman admitted that the TMB had not in any case planned to advertise in the Daily Mail, as studies by its media monitoring unit had revealed that most readers could not easily distinguish between adverts for tripe and the paper's usual editorial content.

Sir Norman described the 2016 campaign as "simple and to the point", and dismissed suggestions that it was lacklustre because it didn't include images of a cute dog. "We can't do this in case it cuts across our other central marketing theme that tripe isn't just for dogs," he said.

6 November 2016

TMB endorses Trump

The Tripe Marketing Board today endorsed Donald Trump as its choice in the US Presidential election. TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: “We believe the interests of the industry would be best served by Mr Trump. He clearly talks our language - tripe.”

22 October 2016

TMB declares amnesty on offal puns to celebrate World Tripe Day

The Tripe Marketing Board has suspended its campaign to eradicate offal puns in social media.  With just two days to go before World Tripe Day, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said it would be wrong to capitalise on people's sense of fun as the big day approached.

Sir Norman Wrassle
Speaking at a civic reception in Madrid last night, Sir Norman described the TMB's strategy to reduce offal puns  as its most successful yet. "Over £1000 has been raised through donations to our charity partner, the UK Multiple Sclerosis Society.  We are grateful to all those who have donated during the course of the year, but now is the time to relax a little and celebrate tripe for what it is," he said.

Sir Norman's hectic programme of engagements in the run up to 24 October include visits to some of Madrid's largest abattoirs.  He plans to spend World Tripe Day itself by touring offal retailers in the city, prior to the gala dinner to celebrate Madrid's Festival of Tripe.

"I hope everyone has a fantastic time on Monday - I know I will," he said.

17 October 2016

Tripe industry prepares for World Tripe Day 2016

With just one week to go before World Tripe Day, the UK tripe industry is making last-minute preparations for what promises to be the biggest celebration yet of nature's wonder food.

Sir Norman Wrassle
Tripe processors, butchers and supermarkets all over the country are stocking up on tripe in readiness for 24 October and Tripe Club members are dusting off their badges to proudly declare their love of tripe. 

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said "This is the one day of the year when no one has to be ashamed to be a tripe lover,  Whether you're in Florence, Caen or Wigan, this is your special day!"

This year is the first time Sir Norman will be celebrating World Tripe Day outside of the UK as he heads a TMB delegation to Madrid's spectacular World of Tripe festival. "Naturally, it's disappointing not to be with friends and family in Lancashire on the great day, but duty calls and I am needed to fly the flag for British tripe in Madrid," he said.

7 October 2016

End of an Era for Tripe Diary

The Tripe Marketing Board confirmed today that it will not be publishing a TMB Diary for 2017.  The decision was announced by TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle during a seminar on The Future For Tripe, held in Nottingham earlier this afternoon.

Sir Norman Wrassle
The decision brings to an end a 70-year history of continuous diary production in the UK tripe industry, which commenced when the British Tripe Council published the first diary in 1946.  Distribution was initially confined to those working in the tripe industry, until a decision was taken in 2014 to make the publication available to the wider tripe-loving public.

Speaking after the seminar, which brought together leading figures in the British meat product processing world, Sir Norman defended the decision to broaden the circulation of the diary as "brave, but misguided".   Although the diary had been initially well-received, with more than 50 people buying it, its publication had coincided almost perfectly with a period when sales of diaries were plummeting.  "Retrospect is a wonderful lady," Sir Norman said, "but hindsight is a cruel mistress".  He blamed the advent of digital technology, the falling value of the pound and the fact that too many people aren't interested in tripe diaries, but said he had no regrets about the initial decision to publish, adding: "Tripe is a resilient foodstuff. We'll probably design an app or something".

Head of TMB Books, Doreen Grey, described it as a sad day for tripe, but said that the TMB was planning to expand its publishing division with further tripe books due out in 2017.  "There are lots of tripe books available for those who want them, and we'll make sure there are more and more in the months and years ahead," she said.

The TMB had invested heavily in multi-media promotion of its diaries, including a video promoting the 2015 edition which received numerous accolades at the St Annes Film Festival, including an award for Best Meat-based Advertising Campaign. "Sadly, even that was not enough," Ms Grey said.


Diary editor Dr Derek J Ripley said he was disappointed at the decision to cease publication, as he had already undertaken weeks of work on the 2017 edition and had hoped to finance the purchase of a new motor home from revenue from its sale.






24 September 2016

Sir Norman Wrassle re-elected as TMB chairman

TMB members react to the news of Sir Norman's re-election
Sir Norman Wrassle was today re-elected unopposed as chairman of the Tripe Marketing Board at the TMB's Annual General Meeting in Liverpool.

On learning of the result Sir Norman, who has held the role since 1997, paid tribute to his campaign staff and their tireless work in preventing another candidate emerging who could challenge him in his position.

Speaking at a Tripe Transformed fringe meeting, Sir Norman said he looked forward to another year of promoting tripe. "I am confident we still have time to make 2016 the Year of Tripe," he said, adding that if this proved not to be the case, then 2017 was the next obvious target.

Over 40 members of Tripe Club voted in the election, with an additional 63 spoiled ballot papers.  
"I am pleased that I will be able to represent the TMB at the World Tripe Day celebrations on 24 October in Madrid.  I would have been very disappointed to have to spend another World Tripe Day just in Lancashire," Sir Norman said.


21 September 2016

TMB Chairman "quietly confident" of re-election

Sir Norman Wrassle
Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle today expressed "quiet confidence" that he would be re-elected as chairman at the TMB's Annual General Meeting in Liverpool on Saturday.

Sir Norman, who has held the role since 1997, said it had always been his personal ambition to take tripe forward, stay in office for 20 years and to make 2017 the Year of Tripe.

Speaking at a meeting of the Westhaughton Ladies' Guild earlier today, Sir Norman said he was heartened that the TMB's Compliance Department had been able to exclude over 30 vegan Trotskyites from taking part in the vote. "Although they think they can easily infiltrate established organisations like the TMB, we're getting wise to their tactics -  there's always the smell of stale tofu about them," Sir Norman said. 

He went on to say he was looking forward to representing the TMB at the World Tripe Day celebrations on 24 October in Madrid. "This is the first time we've been able to celebrate World Tripe Day outside of Lancashire, so I'm very excited at the prospect," he said.

11 September 2016

TMB chairman apologises for satircal Owen Smith tweets

Sir Norman Wrassle
Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has apologised "unreservedly" after a series of TMB tweets over the weekend lampooning Labour leadership election hopeful Owen Smith MP.

The tweets, using the hashtag #OwenSmithAFilm, were issued by an intern who was covering the TMB's @TripeUK Twitter account during the Saturday night shift.  The hashtag was quickly picked up by a large number of other tweeters and, shortly after midnight, the topic was 'trending' in the UK.

Speaking from his Lytham home earlier today, Sir Norman said he was disappointed, but stressed that these were the actions of one rogue individual and did not reflect the TMB's stance on the leadership election.  "The intern involved has been suspended, pending a further inquiry, and her details have been passed to Labour's Compliance Unit so that they can look into the matter further," he said.
#OwenSmithAFilm

Sir Norman said he wished Mr Smith luck in the contest against Mr Corbyn. "Anyone who loves tripe will want to see Owen take over the reins of the Labour Party.  Owen has publicly identified himself as the austerity candidate and, as we all know, tripe is the perfect austerity foodstuff," he said.

3 September 2016

Tripe policy will "cut NHS waiting lists at a stroke" says TMB chairman.

The Tripe Marketing Board has welcomed a decision by West Wigan Clinical Commissioning Group to deny surgery on the NHS to people who don't eat tripe.

Dr Digby Moffat
In an announcement hailed by TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle as "a victory for common sense," the CCG will make people who refuse to eat tripe wait for over a year for non-essential surgery. 

West Wigan CCG chairman Dr Digby Moffat said: "We are tasked with the difficult decision of providing services for an expanding population with a budget that is facing a reduction in real-terms.  By adopting this policy we are sure that demand for NHS services will fall."

The policy excludes vegans, but vegetarians will be expected to give tripe a try.  Sir Norman said: "This new policy could cut waiting lists at a stroke - it's good news for patients, good news for butchers and good news for tripe!"
 

13 August 2016

TMB launches Tripe Tomorrow campaign


TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has joined forces with a former trade union general secretary to launch a funding platform to “re-energise” the UK tripe industry.

Sir Norman and Brendan Kean, formerly the General Secretary of the National Federation of Tripe Dressers, have set up Tripe Tomorrow to raise cash which will be distributed to “progressive” projects in areas such as policy development, digital media, campaigning and persuading people to consume more tripe.

Speaking at a launch event this lunchtime, the pair described the national turmoil which followed the EU referendum as the “greatest crisis in the history of tripe” and made clear their scepticism about Jeremy Corbyn by saying that the renewal of the tripe industry depends on backing those who support an austerity agenda.

"Under the Conservatives, we were promised austerity at least until 2020, which gave us a window of opportunity to promote tripe.  It is, as we have always said, the perfect austerity foodstuff," Mr Kean said.

Sir Norman said he was disturbed by reports that the Labour opposition could be about to reject austerity by re-electing Jeremy Corbyn as its leader.  "We'll be using the Tripe Tomorrow campaign to re-inforce the message that there's nothing wrong with a bit of harsh, unremitting austerity - particularly if it benefits the tripe industry," he said.

TMB Chairman hails Madeira trip "a huge success"

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has described the TMB's recent fact-finding visit to Madeira as its most productive yet.

Tripe is plentiful in Madeira
In a report due to be sent to board members shortly, Sir Norman describes the island as a 'tripe-lover's paradise', pointing to the ready availability of the product in butchers' shops there.

Speaking earlier today, Sir Norman said: "I know a lot of people complain that it isn't always easy to find tripe in the UK - particularly if you don't have a branch of Morrisons in your neighbourhood.  I'm pleased to say that for British ex-pats or holidaymakers in Madeira, there's a ready supply of tripe always close at hand."

Sir Norman went on to say that the ready availability of flights to the island by low-cost operators such as Easyjet made the prospect of  people being able to travel there to stock up on tripe "eminently feasible".

"It's a six hour round trip from the south of England, which makes it a more reasonable proposition than - say - a trip up the motorway to Lancashire, particularly with traffic being what it is these days," he said.

Sir Norman said he would be opening up discussions with the Madeiran tourist authorities so that the island could become a 'destination of choice' for those seeking tripe and tripe-based dishes.


24 July 2016

TMB Fact-finding Mission to Madeira Underway

Final preparations for the Tripe Marketing Board's long-awaited fact-finding trip to Madeira were announced today by board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle, during an informal interview with Lancashire Radio presenter Shealagh Swales.

Funchal, Madeira (Courtesy WikiCommons)
Speaking on the Swales on Sunday show this lunchtime, Sir Norman said he was looking forward to what promised to be a punishing schedule of visits to meat processors, abattoirs and offal retailers on the island, an autonomous region of Portugal more famous for its export of wines, former Manchester United footballers and bananas.

"We've learned a terrific amount on our previous visits to some of the Greek islands and the Canaries, but the board felt it was time to try somewhere new," Sir Norman said.

The schedule begins with the team flying out from Manchester early tomorrow morning, and meetings are planned on Friday with some of the island's top import and export agencies.  The following Tuesday sees a visit to the capital's second biggest abattoir.  Sir Norman said: "Obviously, I hope we'll also get a chance to sample some of Madeira's traditional hospitality whilst we are there, but it's very much a case of fitting that in around official engagements."

Sir Norman said that with Britain's planned exit from the EU it was more important than ever that agencies such as the TMB built new links in readiness for free trade. He promised he would be making a full report to the board at its next scheduled meeting following his return in mid-August.

UK retailers and consumers are advised that a skeleton staff will be available at the TMBs office to handle enquiries over the next two weeks.

22 July 2016

TMB Meetings Suspended

All meetings of the Tripe Marketing Board have been suspended until after the September 2016 elections for board chairman.

TMB Chairman Sir Norman said it was a precautionary measure agreed in the light of anti-tripe abuse and bullying in the social media.  "In practical terms, this won't impact too much as we've only held three board meetings since 2007, and two of these were inquorate," he said.

Figures released by #SavingTripe campaign co-ordinator Unity Smitford suggest that as many as two dozen people enquired about joining Tripe Club in the last week, which means that membership could potentially be doubled overnight.  "We're already Europe's favourite meat-based marketing board on Twitter.  Tripe Club will allow us to reconnect with our core consumers and become a mass movement once again," Sir Norman predicted.

"Tripe Club membership costs just £9.99 and is much cheaper than some other ways of influencing political policy," Ms Smitford said.




17 July 2016

Saving Tripe


Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has made an unprecedented call to those who believe in Tripe to rally together to prevent the dark forces of veganism from sabotaging the work of the TMB.

The call comes after a tripe stall in Chorley market was daubed with anti-meat slogans and a brick was thrown near the offices of the TMB in Preston. Staff at the offices have reported a three-fold increase in the number of abusive telephone calls received, which until recently had fallen to a record low of just 200 a day.

In a statement issued to the media earlier today, Sir Norman said: "We are living in febrile times, what with the EU referendum, a change of Prime Minister and the announcement that Len Goodman is stepping down from Strictly Come Dancing.  I myself have already consulted a psychiatrist to see whether it is possible to have the whole country sectioned under the Mental Health Act, but as of noon today have not received a response."

The Saving Tripe campaign will recruit supporters in readiness for the Board election campaign in September 2016.  Sir Norman described the move as "purely precautionary," and dismissed as "media hype" the suggestion that his position as chairman was at risk.

The TMB's Compliance Unit has already identified around 20 vegan followers among the TMB's followers on Twitter, but it is thought that there may be many more who are following under fake identities.



24 June 2016

BREXIT heralds new dawn for tripe says TMB chairman

Tripe retailers have been advised to expect a surge in demand as people all over Britain woke up to the consequences of the Vote Leave victory in the EU referendum.

As markets reacted to the result, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said that a plummeting pound and the prospect of rising prices meant there would never be a better time for tripe to reassert itself as a 'food for the people'.

Speaking on Lancashire Radio's Wake Up, Lancashire! show this morning, Sir Norman heralded a "new dawn for tripe".  "There's no doubt that the economy is going to go through a torrid time over the next few months.  People will be looking for a cheap and versatile food and they'll soon get fed up of beans on toast," he said. 

 

20 June 2016

"Help me decide!" pleads TMB chairman

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle today called on tripe lovers across the land to help him make up his mind about the EU Referendum.

Speaking at a hastily-convened press conference in Chorley this afternoon, Sir Norman said he was "genuinely undecided," and would be guided by the views of tripe consumers as to how to cast his vote in Thursday's poll.

He said the arguments for Britain staying in or leaving the EU were finely balanced, with the impact on tripe sales not being as clear cut as he had previously thought.

Sir Norman Wrassle
"In the end, I'm prepared to be guided by those who might have looked into things more than I have," he said.

Tripe lovers are asked to express their preference by using the hashtags #RemainTripe or #LeaveTripe in social media postings. 

Sir Norman said he would be bound by the result, but added: "Obviously, whatever the outcome, I hope people will also buy more tripe."

8 June 2016

Tripe Club registration extended until midnight Thursday

Enrolment into the Tripe Marketing Board's Tripe Club has been extended to midnight on Thursday, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle confirmed earlier today.

Speaking after a luncheon appointment in Chorley, Sir Norman denied suggestions that the TMB's website had crashed under the weight of applications late last night. "We've simply discovered that we have rather more badges and books than we thought we had," he said.


23 May 2016

Question Marks Raised Over TripeDog16 Contest

The future of the Tripe Marketing Board's annual internet-based TripeDog competition is 'under review' following a study by the University of Wigan which suggests it has had 'negligible impact' on sales of tripe.

The contest, which has drawn hundreds of canine entries over the last three years and which has seen fierce competition from contenders from all across the UK, was the brainchild of Lady Cheryl Wrassle, wife of TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle.

Speaking earlier today, Sir Norman told a meeting of UK tripe representatives that he would personally examine the report. "It would be a shame if we had to ditch the contest simply because it wasn't impacting on tripe sales," he said.

"Say 'No' to Europe and buy more tripe" says TMB chairman

The interests of Britain's tripe producers would be best served by leaving  the EU, Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle told a meeting of the Chorley Ladies' Guild earlier today.

Sir Norman, who admitted he had changed his mind only recently, said that projections by the Treasury of a year-long recession if Britain left the EU had convinced him that BREXIT was the way ahead.
"We have long recognised that sales of tripe increase during times of recession - indeed, the 1930s were some of our finest years," he said. 

He summarised the advantages for tripe if Britain quit the EU as:
  • The ease with which the TMB could organise fact-finding visits to non-EU countries without unnecessary red tape
  • Tripe consumption could rise
  • Tripe prices were likely to continue falling
  • It would be easier for youngsters to get jobs in tripe processing companies in the UK
Sir Norman said he fully understood why some tripe consumers might be hesitant to leave the EU, but he appealed to them to continue buying tripe even if they were voting to stay.

17 May 2016

TMB chairman says "Vote 'Yes' to Europe and buy more tripe"

The interests of Britain's tripe industry would be best served by staying in the EU, Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle told an audience of  Preston students earlier today.

Sir Norman, who admitted he had initially been reluctant to become involved in the EU Referendum debate, said his mind had been changed after a TMB policy commission had reported its findings to the board late last week.    

"On balance, there are a number of reasons why it might be beneficial to stay in the EU," he said. He summarised these as:
  • The ease with which the TMB could organise fact-finding visits to Europe without unnecessary red tape
  • Tripe consumption could rise
  • Tripe prices were likely to continue falling
  • Relations with organisations such as Parti Tripier could be further developed
  • It would be easier for youngsters to get jobs in tripe processing companies across Europe
Sir Norman said he fully understood why some tripe consumers might be hesitant to stay in the EU, but he appealed to them to continue buying tripe even if they were voting to leave.



Sir Norman said that market uncertainties as a result of the EU debate had already had a huge impact on the sales of tripe books.  "For that reason, we've taken the unprecedented decision to hugely discount the price of all of our books on Amazon in an attempt to stimulate sales," he said. 

The decision to support staying in Europe represents a change in policy for the UK tripe industry, which has historically taken a more Eurosceptic position.  When the last referendum was held in 1975 the TMB's predecessor body, British Tripe, opposed Britain entering the Common Market.  "I'd like to think we're all more open-minded these days," Sir Norman said.


6 May 2016

Plan for Tripe Academy School "put on hold"

The Tripe Marketing Board's proposal to develop a Tripe Academy School in Chorley, Lancashire has been put on indefinite hold, following today's announcement that the government is abandoning plans to force all schools to become academies.

University of Wigan in Lancashire: potential partner
Speaking at a hastily convened media conference this afternoon, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle admitted that he was disappointed at the government climb down.  "We have invested a lot of time and energy in finding a school that was prepared to launch as a Tripe Academy.  It's sad that the plug has been pulled just when we thought we had sealed a deal," he said.

The plans, prepared in collaboration with the University of Wigan in Central Lancashire, would have seen 5 - 10 year olds fast-tracked into careers in the tripe industry.

Sir Norman said it could be "months, or even years" before a similar opportunity presented itself. "Without the government stick, it's hard to see how we'll persuade a school to work with us. It's another victory for the vegan lobbyists," he said.


2 April 2016

Europe "built on tripe" says TMB chairman

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle will today underline the tripe industry's commitment to the EU in a presentation to be delivered to the Chorley Ladies' Guild annual general meeting this afternoon.

Sir Norman will use his speech to highlight the prominent role that tripe plays in European cuisine, at the same time announcing a visit he will be making to Tenerife for the 2016 Conferencia de Proveedores de Carne Procesada de las Canales en Tenerife in Los Christianos next weekend.

Sir Norman said it was critically important that the British tripe industry studied how other European countries processed, promoted and sold tripe.  "In many senses, Europe can be said to be built on tripe," he said, before a lunch with meat processors in Preston today.  Sir Norman went on to add that he would be writing to the Prime Minister to call for a comprehensive package of tariffs to prevent imports of cheap Chinese tripe flooding the UK market. "We don't want to see the tripe industry going the same way as steel," he said.

1 April 2016

Tripe sales 'definitely falling' says TMB chairman after poor 1st Quarter figures

UK tripe consumption fell during the first quarter of 2016, according to provisional figures released by the UK Office of Tripe Consumption today.

Although sales have fallen for 234 successive quarters, per capita sales between January and March  fell by more than 0.0012 kg, reversing a four year trend which had seen a dramatic improvement in the rate of decline.

Commenting on the figures, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said the figures were a personal disappointment, and gave the lie to those who claimed there was no need for a national body to promote tripe.  "There is no doubt in my mind that tripe sales are definitely falling. Those who have called for the abolition of the TMB need to think long and hard about what that would mean for the future of tripe - after all, it's not as if it sells itself," he said.



20 February 2016

Tripe sales 'not rising' says TMB chairman

UK tripe sales have continued to fall and it will take "years - perhaps decades - of patient, promotional activity" to reverse the trend.

This was the sobering message delivered by Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle to a meeting of the North West Federation of Offal Processors in Blackburn, earlier today.

Sir Norman Wrassle
Sir Norman was responding to an article in the February 2016 issue of Offal Monthly, which had accused the TMB of deliberately manipulating tripe consumption figures to suggest consumption was falling.  According to the journal's survey of abattoirs, tripe sales had been rising since the summer of 2015, but Sir Norman dismissed the figures as "unrepresentative, unscientific and unhelpful".

Pointing to the TMB's own research, which included consumer focus groups and phone polls of tripe retailers, restaurants and dog food processors, he said that tripe consumption continued to fall and that the industry had not yet turned the corner.

In response to audience questions, Sir Norman denied that the TMB had scaled down its promotional activity over the last two months.  "There is in fact some evidence to suggest that a lower public profile actually benefits the product. The more people see tripe in the press and social media, the less they are inclined to buy it," he said.  He blamed a reduced presence on Twitter and Facebook on staffing difficulties, flooding in the north west and an administrative oversight which had led to an unpaid broadband bill at the TMB's Preston HQ.

"Those who suggest that somehow we have a vested interest in people not buying tripe really don't understand the tripe industry," Sir Norman said, promising continued investment in new products such as artisan, crafted tripe which the TMB's product development division had been working on for a number of years. 


18 December 2015

Tripe Celebrates Social Media Milestone

The Tripe Marketing Board this week achieved a new high for tripe when it signed up its 10,000th "follower" on Twitter, the social media platform that allows tripe lovers from all across the world to meet and discuss our product.

Sir Norman Wrassle
TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said he was "beyond delighted" at the news.  Speaking at the annual general meeting of the East Lancashire Women's Council last night, Sir Norman praised the achievement of the TMB's social media team, which is made up of interns, volunteers and retired tripe dressers. "Just over three years ago, the chairman of the Pork Council bet me £50 that we could never find 10,000 tripe lovers on Twitter by the end of 2015.  Well, we have smashed that target with days to spare," he said.

In response to questions from the audience, Sir Norman refused to be drawn on the next steps for tripe.  "We're in this for the long game.  From provisional returns already received by the TMB, it already looks like sales of tripe have taken an uptick this quarter.  It's still our plan to make 2016 the Year of Tripe," he said.






13 December 2015

TMB apologises for delayed publication of 2016 Diary

The Tripe Marketing Board has formally apologised for the delayed publication of the TMB 2016 Diary.

In a statement issued earlier today, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "We know that many people eagerly await our diary - particularly those with busy social lives.  We are very sorry that it was only published this weekend and we hope this does not cause too many problems for those wanting to buy it."

Sir Norman blamed the delay on a world shortage of dates, the lateness of this year's TMB Annual General Meeting and legal issues which had required the contents to be vetted by the board's solicitors.  "In retrospect, including my letter to Jonathan Ross may have been a mistake as it has clearly contributed to the belated publication of the diary," he said.

The Diary can be purchased via this link.  As well as being a week-to-view practical diary, it contains articles on tripe in literature, Sir Norman's address to the TMB's AGM, dozens of tripe facts and figures and an insight into the challenges faced in promoting tripe.

"Our publishing arm, TMB Books, has created some fantastic offers linked to the publication of the diary," Sir Norman said.  "This is to acknowledge the delay in publication, but also recognises the fact that not many people have been buying the other books," he added. 


29 November 2015

Tripe backs 'Laugh Along With Meat' campaign

The Tripe Marketing Board has announced its backing for the UK meat industry's new Laugh Along With Meat initiative, which was launched earlier this week with a series of cabaret performances sponsored by the Pork Council.

Laugh Along With Meat will see all major meat marketing agencies use humour to promote their products in the run-up to Christmas.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "We are pleased to be participating in this innovative project. Tripe is the perfect comedy foodstuff.  Little wonder we came second in last year's British Comedy Food Awards".

Sir Norman will be kicking off tripe's contribution to the campaign when he appears tonight (29 November) at the Hot Water Comedy Club in Liverpool. 

"Apparently, tickets are only £3, which is a remarkably small price to pay to Laugh Along With Meat," Sir Norman said.


23 November 2015

Tripe lovers urged to act fast to avoid disappointment on Tripe Tuesday

Tripe retailers across the country have been preparing for the second annual 'Tripe Tuesday' tomorrow - the annual day of the year when most tripe is sold.

First initiated by the Tripe Marketing Board in 1979 as 'Tripe Thursday', the idea was quickly dropped when it failed to stimulate sales.  However, the success for many retailers of 'Black Friday' last year convinced the TMB that the time was ripe to re-launch the initiative.


TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said that Tripe Tuesday was just what the industry needed in the run-up to Christmas.  Speaking at a media conference at Preston earlier today, Sir Norman said: "We've taken the precaution of asking tripe retailers to stock up to avoid disappointed customers - these prices can't last forever!"

18 November 2015

TripeDog 15 Winner Announced

The Tripe Marketing Board's TripeDog15 contest reached its thrilling climax earlier today when the winner was announced by TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle live on BBC Radio Cumbria.

The competition - which has been running on Twitter and Facebook for a number of weeks - saw almost 100 entries whittled down to two, who met in the final which ran since Sunday morning.

The winner was Spud, a three-legged Spaniel owned by Yorkshire-based barrister Helen Trotter, who nevertheless jumped all the hurdles of the earlier rounds to be crowned champion just after 1pm today.

Spud and his owner win a supply of tripe chews, lifetime membership of Tripe Club, a portrait of Spud drawn by artist Christian Doran and the coveted Tripe Dog 15 trophy.  Helen also wins  three books published by the TMB's publishing division, TMB Books.

Runner-up Steve Buscemi, a one-year-old pug from Glasgow owned by Raiph, wins a TMB pen, a Tripe For Dogs badge and his choice of three tripe books.

Speaking afterwards, Sir Norman said: "Every one of the 96 entrants are tripe dogs to us. But sadly, there can only be one TripeDog15.  We're delighted to have Spud as our mascot for the next twelve months and we will feature his story in our 2016 Tripe Marketing Board Diary". 

Sir Norman congratulated all who had entered for the sporting way in which they had approached the contest. "We realise that being crowned Tripe Dog is something a lot of dogs aspire to, so sometimes tempers can get frayed, but they've all participated in the contest with dignity and elan," he said.

The full results of TripeDog15 can be found here.



16 November 2015

Grand Final of TripeDog15 now underway!

Voting is now underway in the Grand Final of  Tripe Marketing Board's TripeDog15 contest, which has already seen over 4000 votes cast in the opening round and semi-finals.

TMB competition director Sam Frascati said that over 100 votes were cast in the first half hour after the contest opened, making it far and away the most popular contest the TMB had ever run.

Mr Frascati said that the results would be announced live shortly after 1pm on Wednesday 18 November 2015 by TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle who, as well as being the country's foremost authority on tripe, is also a noted dog lover.

The overall winner of the contest will walk away with a coveted TripeDog15 Trophy, lifetime membership of Tripe Club and a hand-drawn portrait by talented artist Christian Doran.  Both contenders will also win their choice of the TMB's most popular books.

"TMB Books has massively reduced the price of its books - partly to celebrate the culmination of the contest, but also because not many people were buying them," Mr Frascati added.


13 November 2015

Tripe limbers up for historic TV battle

The Tripe Marketing Board is readying itself for an historic contest with its old adversaries at the Egg Marketing Board, which is due to air on TV next week.

A hand-picked team of tripe-lovers and those who merely tolerate it was fielded for the BBC 2 TV programme Eggheads, which will be broadcast on Wednesday 18 November 2015. The team was brought together after TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle made an appeal for contestants through the TMB's Facebook group, We Love Tripe.  Although not all of the team members were tripe-lovers, they were all screened for tolerance prior to their selection.

Historian and observer of modern life Bill Cawley chaired the team, which included talented pie-maker Sarah Petegree, Cumbrian poet Jonathan Humble, TMB Books manager Paul Etherington  and charity fundraiser Sue Elphick.

To celebrate the team's appearance, TMB Books have agreed to offer all of their current publications at a substantial discount.  Announcing the decision earlier today, Sir Norman Wrassle said that he hoped the price cuts would encourage more people to give tripe books a try.  "Some people seem to think it's amusing that the Tripe Marketing Board publishes books. Perhaps if they try them, they'll think again," Sir Norman said.  He went on to add: "At the very least, we think they'll realise that they make wonderful Christmas gifts for the ones they love - or even for their partners."




  


Strictly Come Barking

 UPDATE: Postponed until Sunday 15 November 2015.

The Tripe Marketing Board’s Tripe Dog 2015 contest nears its thrilling climax this weekend as the two semi-finals get underway.

An initial field of 96 entries has been whittled down to the last remaining eight contenders, who will be pitted against each other to discover which lucky winners will make it through to the final, which takes place on Monday and Tuesday.   The winner will be announced live on BBC radio on Wednesday 18 November.

The keenly-fought contest has rapidly become the biggest tripe-based dog show on the internet, with over 3000 votes already cast in the preliminary stages and the Quarter Finals.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: “Nearly everyone loves dogs – and almost all dogs love tripe. That’s what marketing people call a ‘natural synergy’ and that's why we are delighted to sponsor Tripe Dog 15”.   The contest is also being used to promote the TMB’s new membership organisation, Tripe Club.

Sir Norman said it was also important for consumers to recognise that tripe was not merely a food for dogs. “While we are pleased to promote our product as a tasty treat for them, we mustn’t forget our key message that tripe is not just for dogs,” he said.

7 November 2015

Tripe Dog 2015 competition moves towards its climax

The Tripe Marketing Board's annual contest to find the nation's most lovable tripe dog is hotting up, as the Quarter Finals of Tripe Dog 2015 are launched today.

Ninety-six original entries have been whittled down to 32 contenders and just eight will make it through to the semi-finals.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said that the contest was always keenly fought. "We've had to stagger the entry process over a longer period following complaints that our Twitter feed was full of pictures of dogs," Sir Norman said.

"I would like to re-iterate that tripe is not just for dogs," he added.

The first Quarter Finalists can be viewed here.

1 November 2015

Vegans blamed for TMB website hack: UPDATED

The Tripe Marketing Board has suffered a severe and sustained cyber-attack on its website, www.tripemarketingboard.co.uk.

The attack, which appears to be the work of militant vegans, was first noticed at around 12.30pm today, but may have happened at any time over the last five days.

The TMB's head of IT Deirdre Hardman said that a confused customer had rung earlier today, but she had no way of knowing when the attack was undertaken. "The last time anyone looked at our website seems to have been last Tuesday, and nobody noticed anything unusual at that time," she said.

The extremists also appear to have control of TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle's Twitter account. "Until we can resolve the matter, customers are advised that there may be unusual and anti-tripe tweets from this account," Mrs Hardman said.

UPDATE at 2.36pm 1 November 2015

We are pleased to report that our website is now running normally.  No customer details were compromised during this attack, although the 'Home' page and a picture of the TMB chairman were defaced.

Speaking from his Lytham home, Sir Norman said: "We didn't receive any ransom demands and fewer than three people actually viewed the page, so the damage was fairly limited".  Initial investigations suggest that the attack occurred after a TMB employee left their mobile phone containing website log-in details at a service station on the M6 during a comfort break, on Thursday.

26 October 2015

TMB chairman flies home for meat crisis talks

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has cut short an official visit to Barbados to celebrate World Tripe Day celebrations in order to attend hastily-convened talks in the British meat industry. 

The discussions follow today's announcement by the World Health Organisation that bacon and processed meats are potentially carcinogenic.

"It's important that I play a full part in the industry-wide response to these potentially damaging suggestions," Sir Norman said.

Speaking before boarding his plane earlier today, Sir Norman said that the meat industry must remain united in the face of the potential threat to sales. "As people turn away from more popular foodstuffs like bacon, beef and pork chops, there's every chance they'll turn to tripe to fill the gap," he said. 

23 October 2015

TMB reviews security after Talk Talk cyberhack

The Tripe Marketing Board has ordered an immediate review of its security systems, following recent online cyber attacks on the Talk Talk network.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said he had personally ordered a review of  security at the TMB's Preston headquarters. "We can't be too careful.  We know that militant vegans have tried to hack into our Twitter account before now," he said.

Speaking earlier today, Sir Norman moved to assure tripe lovers that their personal details were safe and secure.  "Tripe Club membership has only just reached double figures, so we don't need anything fancy like a database.  All the records are locked away in a filing cabinet at the end of the day," he said.

19 October 2015

TMB chairman to visit Barbados to celebrate World Tripe Day

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has confirmed that he will be celebrating World Tripe Day as a guest of the Barbadian Confederation of Meat Processors.

His visit to Barbados commences with a series of abattoir tours, before culminating with a gala dinner in Bridgetown on World Tripe Day, 24 October 2015.

Sir Norman will be returning to the UK the following week to fulfill a long-standing engagement with the Preston Ladies' Guild.

18 October 2015

Tripe retailers told to prepare for sudden sales surge

Tripe retailers have been advised to prepare for an imminent surge in sales, following media coverage over the weekend.

The move comes after Olympic champion Jessica Ennis-Hill, CBE appeared on the prime-time Jonathan Ross Show on Saturday night and claimed that she "loved" tripe as a child and that "that's why I'm so fast".  

Mrs Ennis-Hill's comments came during a wide-ranging discussion about her career, her upbringing and tripe.  The acclaimed athlete has already been quoted in the press on the subject of tripe, but this is the first time that she has acknowledged that her childhood diet of liquidised tripe and milk has influenced her performance in track and field. 

Liquidised tripe campaign launched.
Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle welcomed the public acknowledgment. "It was very brave of Jessica to appear on a show that regularly attracts over 3.5 million viewers and talk about tripe. It's bound to pique people's interest in our product," he said.

Sir Norman said that the TMB would be capitalising on the endorsement by launching a campaign to promote liquidised tripe, but that he would be writing to Mr Ross to express his concern at a number of disparaging remarks he made about tripe during the interview.