31 October 2012

Fred Dibnah Rolls Ahead!

After the first 300 votes in TMB Books' Greatest Lancastrian poll, Fred Dibnah has taken an early lead by securing 30% of votes cast.  

The Bolton-born chimney blaster and steam engine fan who died in 2004 has clearly got quite a following across Lancashire, if our poll result is anything to go by.

Early leader Gerard Winstanley, the Wigan Digger who is acclaimed as one of Britain's first socialists, was pushed into second place as votes started to stack up behind Fred.

Meanwhile, fans of George Formby have been left smarting as the Wigan ukelele player only managed to reach 3rd place.

But it's not over yet!  It's early days and there's almost a month of voting until the results are announced on Lancashire Day (27 November 2012).

So, if you know anyone who hasn't cast their vote yet - give them a nudge!

30 October 2012

Forgotten Lancashire Reaches Number One on Amazon

Forgotten Lancashire and Parts of Cheshire and the Wirral is available free to download for Kindle on Amazon for 24 hours only and has reached number one on the parody chart and number eight on the humour chart.
 
TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: “We are delighted that so many people have decided to take advantage of this very special offer. In these cash strapped times this represents excellent value for money for customers who cannot afford to purchase the book or who are perhaps too tight to do so.”

29 October 2012

TMB Launches Twitter Enquiry

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has called for a thorough investigation into the mysterious disappearance of its Twitter account. Sir Norman said: “We believe this could be an act of sabotage by a group of fundamentalist vegetarians or an act of retaliation by a Yorkshire company who are currently the subject of an investigation into errors which crept into the poll of Greatest Lancastrians. We are launching an immediate enquiry and would like to apologise to our many followers for any inconvenience caused.”

26 October 2012

Apology

TMB Books, the publishing arm of the Tripe Marketing Board, wishes to apologise for a number of errors which have crept into an online poll which it commissioned to celebrate Lancashire Day on 27 November 2012.

The poll is being administered by a Yorkshire-based company and it is not known at this stage whether the errors are accidental or a deliberate act of sabotage.  A thorough investigation is underway. Unfortunately, now that the poll is live it is not possible to amend it.

Among the errors which have been brought to our attention are a number of misspellings including Frank Randle and Morrissey, whilst film director Danny Boyle is listed twice.

Dr Doug Harris, professor of market research at the University of Wiggan said, "The errors are unfortunate but do not affect the validity of the poll."

TMB Books hopes that people will continue to encourage others to respond to the poll, so that it can announce a representative result on Lancashire Day.

25 October 2012

Tripe Campaign ‘A Great Success’!


The Tripe Marketing Board’s 2012 campaign to get tripe back on the butchers’ slabs and bookshops of Britain has been hailed as a huge success by TMB Chairman, Sir Norman Wrassle.

Sir Norman Wrassle
“Since we launched the campaign in August, sales of tripe have undoubtedly gone up, whether it be of the edible or written kind.  Our colleagues across the channel at French Tripe have only managed to garner 3,700 visitors since they set their website up some years ago.  We’ve had 2,800 visits in the last 9 weeks alone!”  said Sir Norman.

This is just the first stage of the TMB’s campaign – designed to ‘reconquer the heartlands’ of tripe in Central, East and West Lancashire.  The Board’s Men In White have been in evidence across the county and helped raise the profile of tripe in markets, butchers’ shops and bookshops.

“I’m told we now have nearly 150 members of the We Love Tripe! group on Facebox, and our Twitting campaign has gathered 37 ‘followers’ since it was launched last week,” Sir Norman said.

Meanwhile, TMB Books have confirmed that Waterstones branches as far afield as Manchester Arndale, Crewe, Liverpool, Oldham, Preston, Warringon, Wigan and Birkenhead all have supplies of the new publication Forgotten Lancashire and Parts of Cheshire and the Wirral.  A sample of tripe from the book can be read here, and it is also available on Amazon.

Dr Derek J Ripley
Sir Norman denied rumours of a rift between TMB Books and the author of Forgotten Lancashire, Dr Derek J Ripley.   Dr Ripley has publicly complained that his book has been classified as ‘Humour’ by the publisher.

“This book was tested on focus groups before it was published.  Nine out of ten people said it was funny, and this is born out by reviews since gathered on Amazon.  We’re happy enough to publish other books Dr Ripley may have up his sleeve,” said Sir Norman.  "We've even published Forgotten Lancashire on Kindle, so people who don't like books can now buy it," he added.

  • To join the TMB’s Facebook Group, visit We Love Tripe!
  • To follow the TMB on Twitter, visit @TripeUK
  • To buy Forgotten Lancashire visit the TMB website ForgottenLancashire.
  • To buy tasty tripe, visit your butcher and demand tripe: accept no substitute!




24 October 2012

Sir Norman Resignation-TMB Statement

The Tripe Marketing Board would like to make it quite clear that Sir Norman Wrassle has not resigned as chairman and respectfully asks all journalists to remove themselves from outside his home.

19 October 2012

TMB To Launch TV Channel

The Tripe Marketing Board today confirmed that it is to launch its own satellite TV channel. Tripe TV will launch before Christmas and will be located between The Cupcake Channel and Naughty Grannies. 

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: “We believe there are just not enough cookery programmes on TV. The BBC is doing a great job but we believe there is a market for people who want to watch cookery programmes 24 hours a day 7 days a week."

It is believed Tripe TV will also give extensive coverage to reality TV and science programmes. Highlights of the schedule are likely to be F*** Me It’s Graham Rumsey hosted by the foul mouthed celebrity chef, I’m Famous Put A Wasp In My Mouth and The Only Way Is No Sex, a reality TV programme set in a monastery.

17 October 2012

Men In White Salute Forgotten Lancashire Hero

The Men In White received the customary warm welcome from the people of Wigan today on a whirlwind visit to spread the good news that tripe is making a comeback and to check on sales of Forgotten Lancashire And Parts Of Cheshire And The Wirral. Amongst the retailers who received a visit was Frank Ryding (pictured) who runs a very busy news stand in the market hall where copies of the book have been flying off the shelves. The Men In White are pleased to recommend Mr Chips (and the dining-in section Café Select) on Hallgate where they enjoyed a delicious lunch of steak pie, chips and gravy and a bottle of the finest sparkling mineral water. The pie was home-made and extremely tasty and the chips perfect-probably the best in Wigan. Please note that The Men In White received no payment for this recommendation nor did they receive a free lunch as there is, of course, no such thing as a free lunch. They are, however, open to offers. If you would like to offer them a free lunch please contact us. Terms and conditions apply.

15 October 2012

Heroes Of Tripe

Hats off to the gentlemen of The Offal Club, an elite group of Mancunian gastronomic adventurers who make Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall look like a vegan. The Offal Club are devotees of nose to tail eating who believe there is no part of an animal that is inedible except teeth, sinew and bones. According to the Manchester Evening News, they “started with liver and kidneys and went onto things like heart, testicles, eyes and brain.” They meet regularly to prepare and consume dishes such as braised pig's head, rolled pig's spleen and pigs liver pate with home-made piccalilli. Gentlemen, we salute you! We’re all for nose to tail eating just as long as the animal is dead. And don’t forget the tripe.


12 October 2012

Men In White Go West



The Men In White paid a whirlwind visit to Preston and the Fylde yesterday visiting local bookshops and tripe retailers. They were delighted with the quality of tripe being sold by both Arthur Strand of Preston Market.(above) and Dawson's of Abingdon Street Market, Blackpool and we are therefore pleased to announce that both have been added to the TMB list of approved tripe retailers. They also took the opportunity to visit local bookshops and are delighted to report that sales of Forgotten Lancashire And Parts Of Cheshire And The Wirral are good. The Men In White send a big thank you to all the bookshops who extended a warm welcome to them.

11 October 2012

TMB Condemns JK Rowling's Attack on Tripe

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has condemned author JK Rowling’s statement that tripe is his least favourite food.

Sir Norman said: “Mr Rowling’s statement undoes at a stroke our work rebuilding tripe’s reputation as a food for the 21st century. It is particularly ironic that one of the characters in one of the Harry Porter books is called Magenta Tripe. It seems to me that Mr Rowling has built his reputation on the back of tripe’s good name and rather than acknowledge this has launched a vicious and unwarranted attack which will take many years to put right. I appeal to Mr Rowling to either withdraw this remark immediately or make a substantial donation to the TMB’s marketing budget so that we can begin to repair the damage he has done.”

8 October 2012

Tripe In The Daily Mail

The Daily Mail’s love affair with tripe continues. On 23 August, the Mail Online reported on our efforts to get tripe back on the dinner tables of Britain under the headline Tripe Is Offally Tasty.
 

On Friday, the Mail ran a story that cash-strapped shoppers are turning to cheap cuts to make ends meet. Tripe, in particular, has proved its biggest hit, with sales up 300 per cent. The headline? You Are Offal But I Like You.

We are grateful to the Daily Mail for being in the vanguard of the Great Tripe Revival but we do think they should get some new sub-editors because their headlines are truly offal!!

7 October 2012

TMB Condemns 'Cultural Insensitivity' as DJ is Fined for Cooking Tripe


The Tripe Marketing Board today condemned the cultural insensitivity that has led to top South African DJ T-Bo Touch being fined for cooking tripe in his New York City apartment.

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle was appalled when his grand-daughter, Kylie, alerted him to the news that renowned South Adfrican disc jockey T-Bo Touch had been fined for exercising his inalienable right as a human being to cook tripe.  Sir Norman immediately offered to pay the fine on behalf of tripe lovers all over the world.  He went on to say:

“We are making a stand on behalf of tripe lovers all over the world.  Tripe is making a comeback—consumption in the UK has risen 300% as a result of our recent marketing efforts.  We stand shoulder to shoulder with anyone persecuted for eating tripe.  If Mr Bo contacts me, we will be happy to pay his fine. The message we are sending out is clear. We believe it is the right of every person, irrespective of race, colour or creed, to cook and consume tripe in the comfort of their own home.”

The Tripe Marketing Board has invested heavily in a campaign to promote tripe.  The Times newspaper called its most recent efforts ‘clever marketing’.  A redesigned TMB website and an aggressive Facebook and Twitter campaign has ensured that people are looking again at a foodstuff that has been marginalised for many years.



4 October 2012

Fit For A King!

In honour of National Poetry Day, Henry Ford has submitted the following poem to the TMB:

T is for texture, a honeycomb treat,
R is for riches, a treasure to eat.
I is for irresistible, you'll want to eat more,
P is for price, well you can, that's for sure.
E is for eating, sup up and tuck in,
Wash down with fine ale, food fit for a king.
Well done, Henry. We always wondered what you got up to after making the cars!

3 October 2012

Survey Reveals Staggering Lack Of Knowledge About Tripe

One in five adults apparently believe that tripe grows on trees. The statistic is the most shocking in a survey that reveals a bewildering level of consumer ignorance about food. A staggering 18 per cent believe tripe grows underground and is mined by illegal immigrants. Twenty per cent think that chips grow in the soil and ten per cent believe that pizza is a vegetable.A quarter of adults admit to being stumped when a child asks them where they come from and a staggering 22 per cent don’t know their own address. A fifth have never heard of the Tripe Marketing Board and five per cent think the Queen is a potato.

The research, which was carried out among 2,000 adults, was commissioned by the TMB to celebrate the launch of a new colour coding system and to get free publicity for tripe. 

Half claim that their tripe isn’t white enough, 28 per cent say it’s too white and 34 per cent struggle to find their way home after work. 

Sir Norman Wrassle, chairman of the Tripe Marketing Board said: 'Our research shows that some British adults need to brush up on their knowledge of tripe.It’s worrying to think that there are people out there who believe tripe is just what they see on television and read in their magazines. There is plenty of information available about tripe so they can read up – I recommend the chapter on tripe in Forgotten Lancashire And Parts Of Cheshire And The Wirralby Dr Derek Ripley.'

Cooking is an issue too - despite being one of the nation’s favourite beverages, one in twenty adults still admit to not knowing how to make a cup of tea.

Sir Norman added: 'Tripe is one of the most versatile foods - it can be used to create so many tasty dishes as well as making a perfect temporary floor covering or emergency waterproof shelter. Our colour coding system has been introduced to make it even easier for you to pick exactly the right shade of tripe for you.”

2 October 2012

Tripe Girls To Reform?


Popular 40s singing trio The Tripe Girls are to reform. It's a "done deal", according to the Wigan Daily Mail, with some or all of the band believed to have signed up for four shows including next year's Beefstock music festival as well as care homes throughout the north west..

The band – Florrie (Blonde Tripe), Mabel B (Spotty Tripe) and Mabel C (Baby Tripe) are all in their eighties or nineties and were thought to have been happily retired since 1962.

They are best remembered as figureheads of the Tripe Power movement, hits such as Tripe Up Your World and A Taste Of Honeycomb, the feature film Tripe World and a range of merchandise including tripe-scented deodorant.

Baby Tripe is 86.

1 October 2012

Can tripe increase libido?

It’s the question which is on everybody’s minds. Can tripe really increase libido? We asked Professor Richard Hawkins of the Sir Norman Wrassle Centre for Genomic Research at the University of Wigan and author of “The Laughing Genome” to put this to the test.

Professor Hawkins selected a pair of twin adolescent mice (Boris and Elton) and placed them in separate cages. He fed both mice a meat-based dish (cat or bird) and added powdered tripe to Boris’s meat dish but none to Elton’s. This was followed by a selection of cheeses (Port Salut, Roquefort and Red Leicester). He then decorated both cages with pictures of female mice. 

After one week he introduced female mice to both cages at a rate of one per hour. Boris mated with every female mouse introduced into his cage and produced a total of ninety-four offspring whilst Elton ignored the female mice and simply cleaned his cage. “Although more work is required, the results of these tests are encouraging,” said Professor Hawkins. “When it comes to DNA, there's not much difference between mice and men.”