25 August 2015

TMB decides against electoral reform



The Tripe Marketing Board has confirmed that it will not be opening its election processes up to a wider electorate following a working party report published earlier today.

The Board Appointments Sub-Committee has recommended that the election of the TMB’s chairman should following existing procedures.  Sub-committee chairman Mr Stuart Wrassle said: “We have looked at recent experiences elsewhere and concluded that it would not be sensible to open the election up to a wider vote".

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said he had not been overly concerned at suggestions that vegans might seek to influence the vote, but he thought the decision was, on balance, "right for tripe".

He went on to add: “We’re just in the process of launching Tripe Club, our membership body for tripe lovers the world over.  We did think at one stage that members might be given a vote but I’m pleased to say that we are nothing if not a learning organisation.  They'll have to make do with a book, a fridge magnet, a certificate, a photo, a badge and a pen instead." 

Tripe Club membership costs £9.99 including UK post and packing.

20 August 2015

TMB distances itself from Labour leadership campaigns

The Tripe Marketing Board has disassociated itself from campaigning being undertaken by rival tripe dressing unions for the Labour Party leadership elections which are currently taking place.

Speaking at a meeting of the Chorley & District Women's Circle last night, Sir Norman Wrassle said he was "deeply embarrassed" by the intervention of the unions in the campaign. 

The Amalgamated Association of Tripe Dressers has publicly endorsed leadership contender Andy Burnham and has called on its membership to back him.

Meanwhile, the rival National Federation of Tripe Dressers has asked its six members to support Liz Kendall.

Sir Norman said: "The Tripe Marketing Board is - and must remain - politically neutral in these matters.  We are sure that whoever is elected will work with us to help put tripe back on the dinner tables of Britain".

Responding to criticism that some people had detected a 'pro-Corbyn' slant to tweets issued by the TMB, Sir Norman said that action had already been taken to address the matter.

"Unfortunately, we rely on volunteers and interns to support our Twitter and other social media activity.  We can't monitor them 24 hours a day, so it's quite possible that some of the younger and more disaffected amongst them might have occasionally shown support for Mr Corbyn," he said. 



19 August 2015

Tripe Club launch confirmed for 7 September

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle today confirmed that the long-awaited launch of Tripe Club will take place on Monday, 7 September 2015 at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane in London.

The launch will follow Sir Norman's appearance at a conference on Alternative Dispute Resolution which is taking place that day at the same venue.

After the formal launch of Tripe Club, membership will be opened up to tripe lovers the world over.

"I hope as many people as possible will come along to our launch event on 7 September. I'm excited at the prospect of meeting so many tripe lovers - particularly outside of Lancashire," Sir Norman said.

Tripe Club membership brings a whole host of benefits to members.  For the launch event, Sir Norman said he expected that a number of minor celebrities would be attending. "It's not just about the complimentary glass of wine.  This is about showing the world that tripe has a positive role to play in the nation's diet".

"I'm particularly excited that we will have TMB pens available for members. These were held up at customs for a number of months, but I am pleased to say they have now arrived," he said.

Attendance at the launch event costs £12.50, but includes the membership pack and a complimentary glass of wine.

17 August 2015

TMB apologises to tripe retailers

The Tripe Marketing Board has issued an unreserved apology to tripe retailers after a weekend during which tripe received an unprecedented number of endorsements from minor celebrities.

Many tripe sellers were caught unawares after TV chef Rick Stein mentioned tripe during his programme charting a road trip from Venice to Istanbul.  The TMB website received over 20 'hits' after the show aired on Friday, and stockists as far apart as Wigan and Blackburn reported brisk sales.

The following day, the Rev Richard Coles, presenter of the popular BBC Radio 4 show Saturday Live, tweeted that "Tripe is the food of the gods", while respected restaurant critic Jay
Rayner eulogised about various kinds of offal - including tripe - which he came across in Rome during a recent visit.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle blamed the barrage of coverage on an over-zealous marketing  intern who had been hired to cover the office during the TMB's recent fact-finding visit to Greece. "Whilst recognising the achievements of the individual concerned, it might have been better if they had tipped off our retailers, so they could have been prepared for the queues of people whose interest in tripe had been piqued," he said.

Sir Norman said that he understood that the person responsible had since been poached by another marketing board.  "We'll be reviewing this incident and I can promise you we will learn the lessons," he said. 

16 August 2015

Fact-finding mission "a huge success" says TMB chairman

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has declared the TMB's recent fact-finding visit to the Greek island of Skiathos a huge success.

A Greek butcher's shop
Speaking following his return to his Lytham home earlier today, Sir Norman said: "You would be surprised at just how many facts there are out there to find.  The two weeks seemed to fly by!"  The trip included visits to a number of abattoirs and butcher's shops in Skiathos and the neighbouring islands of Skopelos and Alonissos, as well as top-level discussions with meat and offal trade associations for the Sporades islands.

Sir Norman said he was disappointed that there was less tripe available than he had expected.  He blamed this on the strong pound and the fact that, in the summer, many holidaymakers tend to stick to the tried and tested Greek dishes of moussaka and kleftiko. "Personally, I've got nothing against these dishes, but I had hoped that the austerity agenda in Greece would have meant that tripe was more in evidence," he said.

He went on to say that he expected that the TMB could learn important lessons from the trip, and he personally thanked Mr Christo Chrysoula, Head of Product Development at the Greek Tripe Board, for use of his private yacht during his time on the islands.