23 May 2016

Question Marks Raised Over TripeDog16 Contest

The future of the Tripe Marketing Board's annual internet-based TripeDog competition is 'under review' following a study by the University of Wigan which suggests it has had 'negligible impact' on sales of tripe.

The contest, which has drawn hundreds of canine entries over the last three years and which has seen fierce competition from contenders from all across the UK, was the brainchild of Lady Cheryl Wrassle, wife of TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle.

Speaking earlier today, Sir Norman told a meeting of UK tripe representatives that he would personally examine the report. "It would be a shame if we had to ditch the contest simply because it wasn't impacting on tripe sales," he said.

"Say 'No' to Europe and buy more tripe" says TMB chairman

The interests of Britain's tripe producers would be best served by leaving  the EU, Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle told a meeting of the Chorley Ladies' Guild earlier today.

Sir Norman, who admitted he had changed his mind only recently, said that projections by the Treasury of a year-long recession if Britain left the EU had convinced him that BREXIT was the way ahead.
"We have long recognised that sales of tripe increase during times of recession - indeed, the 1930s were some of our finest years," he said. 

He summarised the advantages for tripe if Britain quit the EU as:
  • The ease with which the TMB could organise fact-finding visits to non-EU countries without unnecessary red tape
  • Tripe consumption could rise
  • Tripe prices were likely to continue falling
  • It would be easier for youngsters to get jobs in tripe processing companies in the UK
Sir Norman said he fully understood why some tripe consumers might be hesitant to leave the EU, but he appealed to them to continue buying tripe even if they were voting to stay.

17 May 2016

TMB chairman says "Vote 'Yes' to Europe and buy more tripe"

The interests of Britain's tripe industry would be best served by staying in the EU, Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle told an audience of  Preston students earlier today.

Sir Norman, who admitted he had initially been reluctant to become involved in the EU Referendum debate, said his mind had been changed after a TMB policy commission had reported its findings to the board late last week.    

"On balance, there are a number of reasons why it might be beneficial to stay in the EU," he said. He summarised these as:
  • The ease with which the TMB could organise fact-finding visits to Europe without unnecessary red tape
  • Tripe consumption could rise
  • Tripe prices were likely to continue falling
  • Relations with organisations such as Parti Tripier could be further developed
  • It would be easier for youngsters to get jobs in tripe processing companies across Europe
Sir Norman said he fully understood why some tripe consumers might be hesitant to stay in the EU, but he appealed to them to continue buying tripe even if they were voting to leave.



Sir Norman said that market uncertainties as a result of the EU debate had already had a huge impact on the sales of tripe books.  "For that reason, we've taken the unprecedented decision to hugely discount the price of all of our books on Amazon in an attempt to stimulate sales," he said. 

The decision to support staying in Europe represents a change in policy for the UK tripe industry, which has historically taken a more Eurosceptic position.  When the last referendum was held in 1975 the TMB's predecessor body, British Tripe, opposed Britain entering the Common Market.  "I'd like to think we're all more open-minded these days," Sir Norman said.


6 May 2016

Plan for Tripe Academy School "put on hold"

The Tripe Marketing Board's proposal to develop a Tripe Academy School in Chorley, Lancashire has been put on indefinite hold, following today's announcement that the government is abandoning plans to force all schools to become academies.

University of Wigan in Lancashire: potential partner
Speaking at a hastily convened media conference this afternoon, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle admitted that he was disappointed at the government climb down.  "We have invested a lot of time and energy in finding a school that was prepared to launch as a Tripe Academy.  It's sad that the plug has been pulled just when we thought we had sealed a deal," he said.

The plans, prepared in collaboration with the University of Wigan in Central Lancashire, would have seen 5 - 10 year olds fast-tracked into careers in the tripe industry.

Sir Norman said it could be "months, or even years" before a similar opportunity presented itself. "Without the government stick, it's hard to see how we'll persuade a school to work with us. It's another victory for the vegan lobbyists," he said.