17 November 2016

2017 will be "big for tripe" says TMB chairman

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has promised a bumper year for tripe as he unveiled the TMB's ambitious plans for the next twelve months whilst speaking at a meeting of the Westhaughton Ladies' Circle, earlier today.

Sir Norman: "Ambitious plans"
Sir Norman will be spending the next two months promoting tripe on a whistle-stop tour of the Caribbean, seeking out new markets for British tripe in readiness of the post-Brexit era.

Meanwhile, TMB Books (the board's publishing arm) is planning a follow-up to Forgotten Lancashire and Part of Cheshire and the Wirral, the 2012 publication which single-handedly revived the tripe industry in Lancashire.  Sir Norman could not confirm the title of the proposed follow-up, but said it "might" cover another county that "wasn't a million miles from Lancashire, Cheshire or the Wirral."

At the same time, Sir Norman announced that the TMB's official historian Dr Derek Ripley had been commissioned to write a history of the Tripe Marketing Board, provisionally entitled A History of the Tripe Marketing Board.  "We'll take advice on that, though," Sir Norman said. "Someone has suggested a more racy title - The Complete and Utter Truth About Tripe," he said.

12 November 2016

TMB will boycott Daily Mail advertising

The Tripe Marketing Board has confirmed it will not be advertising any of its products in the Daily Mail, following a public campaign calling on big companies to drop adverts from newspapers accused of promoting “hatred, discrimination and demonisation”.

Christmas campaign - simple and to the point
TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle announced the ban at the launch of the tripe industry's Christmas 2016 promotional campaign, earlier today.

In response to questions, Sir Norman admitted that the TMB had not in any case planned to advertise in the Daily Mail, as studies by its media monitoring unit had revealed that most readers could not easily distinguish between adverts for tripe and the paper's usual editorial content.

Sir Norman described the 2016 campaign as "simple and to the point", and dismissed suggestions that it was lacklustre because it didn't include images of a cute dog. "We can't do this in case it cuts across our other central marketing theme that tripe isn't just for dogs," he said.

6 November 2016

TMB endorses Trump

The Tripe Marketing Board today endorsed Donald Trump as its choice in the US Presidential election. TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: “We believe the interests of the industry would be best served by Mr Trump. He clearly talks our language - tripe.”