17 July 2016

Saving Tripe

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has made an unprecedented call to those who believe in Tripe to rally together to prevent the dark forces of veganism from sabotaging the work of the TMB.

The call comes after a tripe stall in Chorley market was daubed with anti-meat slogans and a brick was thrown near the offices of the TMB in Preston. Staff at the offices have reported a three-fold increase in the number of abusive telephone calls received, which until recently had fallen to a record low of just 200 a day.

In a statement issued to the media earlier today, Sir Norman said: "We are living in febrile times, what with the EU referendum, a change of Prime Minister and the announcement that Len Goodman is stepping down from Strictly Come Dancing.  I myself have already consulted a psychiatrist to see whether it is possible to have the whole country sectioned under the Mental Health Act, but as of noon today have not received a response."

The Saving Tripe campaign will recruit supporters in readiness for the Board election campaign in September 2016.  Sir Norman described the move as "purely precautionary," and dismissed as "media hype" the suggestion that his position as chairman was at risk.

The TMB's Compliance Unit has already identified around 20 vegan followers among the TMB's followers on Twitter, but it is thought that there may be many more who are following under fake identities.

1 comment:

  1. Ohhh my goodness
    I am horrified to hear what has been going on with the TMB.
    Good luck to Sir Norman with his quest.
    Sadly as always with the mental health services delays will be common place.
    Take care and stand strong do not stoop to the levels of those who appose you.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you.